Texts From Last Night

 Just found this on another blog and it was so awesome I had to repost it. 

Go to here to see the site.

Faves:

(270) Not only did I hold your hair bak as you puked, I french braided it. I am such a great friend.

(410): She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.

(314): no ping pong balls so we’re playing beer pong with an ornament. you can’t tell me that’s not festive.

(205): just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.

(717): I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine…

(650): I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.

(210): I’m bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.

(803): her facebook's as public as her vagina

(505): i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you’ve gotten fat.

(916): Don’t bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms

(919): so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.

(612): What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex… Can I get a ride home?

(901): guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.

(901): Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning… why r guys so tacky?